As I have been slowly remembering who I am and what I am, I have noticed that laughter and tears are returning in copious amounts. Now before you advise me to start taking those little funny pills or talking to those nice gentleman in sterile white coats, please be advised that the outbreaks in emotion are appropriate. I laugh when things are funny, amusing, joyful, and when something, or someone, causes the corners of my heart to tilt up; I cry when things are sad, distressing, awful, and when something, or someone, causes the corners of my heart to tilt down. (Okay, sometimes I cry for the same reasons I laugh....) It's a simple response, but a response that can have powerful repercussions.
For the first time since birth, I feel no pressure from outside sources to feel this way or feel that way. I feel as I am intended "to feel." There have been other brief periods in my life when I have "allowed" this to happen, but for the most part, I have held back. In fact, I became quite good at holding back, and perhaps that is why there is such intensity to these new emotions.
I delight in both the laughter and the tears.
I have not written in several months for many reasons, but I dearly miss the comfort which I received from the joy of writing and the support which I derived from my readers. My blog is eclectic....you never know what I will discuss, think, scream, cry, attack, satirize, quote, etc. My writings are mine....some are from the heart, some are from writing prompts, some are reality, and some are fiction. I need to be able to write without having to worry about being politically, emotionally, or socially correct. Please read the revised "About Me" section and feel free to continue reading if you can abide by those conditions.
Blogging has been a form of discipline I have been using to keep me writing. Lately though, I have noticed that what I would want to write or what I do write is not something that I would necessarily want people to read. Do we go through phases where this occurs? There are too many heart-felt emotions that run through my last writings (non-published) and I know that these are writings for which I could and would take no criticism. But much of my other writing certainly contains some of these same emotions and I am willing to share. What is the difference? I apologize for my recent lapses and will try to carve out the time to write material which I would feel free for others to read.
